Your future god king
wilwheaton:

kngdmcat:

worthless-wolf:

blacksapphiredragon:

down-sizing:

Let’s remember, Jesus was a Jewish man of color, born homeless to an unwed teenager, who spent his formative years as an illegal immigrant before returning to his home country to hang out with twelve men, prostitutes, and socially untouchable tax collectors while he taught a radical social doctrine of equality, love, and forgiveness that included paying taxes, free healthcare, and the sharing of resources within a community.

#CANON JESUS IS SIX MILLION TIMES BETTER THAN FANON JESUS

Canon Jesus

Jesus called somebody an ass once because they where being rude to a crippled little old lady if you don’t think that’s the tightest shit then get out of my face.


Pretty sure that Jesus was also the first person to say, “don’t be a dick.”

wilwheaton:

kngdmcat:

worthless-wolf:

blacksapphiredragon:

down-sizing:

Let’s remember, Jesus was a Jewish man of color, born homeless to an unwed teenager, who spent his formative years as an illegal immigrant before returning to his home country to hang out with twelve men, prostitutes, and socially untouchable tax collectors while he taught a radical social doctrine of equality, love, and forgiveness that included paying taxes, free healthcare, and the sharing of resources within a community.

Canon Jesus

Jesus called somebody an ass once because they where being rude to a crippled little old lady if you don’t think that’s the tightest shit then get out of my face.

Pretty sure that Jesus was also the first person to say, “don’t be a dick.”

vonmunsterr:

toastedpopsicle:

CAT NEST
CAT NEST
CAAAAAAAAT NEEEEEEEEST.
CAT. NEST.

i definitely thought the orange one was a pumpkin and this was some weird yankee halloween thing

vonmunsterr:

toastedpopsicle:

CAT NEST

CAT NEST

CAAAAAAAAT NEEEEEEEEST.

CAT. NEST.

i definitely thought the orange one was a pumpkin and this was some weird yankee halloween thing

kardashianjpeg:

Best gay joke ever

ninjanaomi:

castiel-on-top-of-the-tree:

rhamphotheca:

Help Our Turtle Friends!!!

NO NO NO NO
WRONG
SO VERY WRONG
LISTEN ALL MY FELLOW FRIENDS: I’VE VOLUNTEERED AT THE NEW ENGLAND WILDLIFE CENTER, A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD TRAVEL TO INTERN AT, FOR MORE THAN YEAR AND THIS IS SO VERY WRONG
IN CASE YA’LL DIDN’T KNOW, TURTLE ARE CONNECTED TO THEIR SHELLS, AND PICKING THEM UP LIKE IS SHOWN IN THE PICTURE CAN SEVERELY DAMAGE THEIR SPINE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU JERK THEM AROUND
SO LET ME TELL YOU A THING
IF YOU SEE A TURTLE IN THE ROAD, STOP YOUR CAR FAR ENOUGH AWAY THAT THE TURTLE CAN STILL BE SEEN THROUGH YOUR WINDSHIELD.
IF YOU’RE ON A NON-BUSY ROAD AND/OR THE TURTLE ISN’T FLIPPED ON IT’S SHELL (WHICH BY THE WAY WHAT THE FUCK TURTLE DON’T ACTUALLY FALL ON THEIR BACKS LIKE THAT PRETTY MUCH EVER ESPECIALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THAT PICTURE) GET A STICK OR JUST USE YOUR FOOT TO GENTLY NUDGE THE TURTLE’S REAR IN THE DIRECTION IT’S GOING IN. THOSE FUCKERS ARE FAST WHEN THEY WANT TO BE.
IF PICKING UP THE TURTLE IS NECESSARY, APPROACH IT FROM THE SIDE, MAKE SURE IT SEES YOU, THEN GO AROUND THE BACK. ALL TURTLES HAVE JAWS LIKE THE VIRGIN ASSHOLE OF SATAN, EVEN IF IT’S NOT A SNAPPER, AND YOU DO NOT WANT THOSE CLAMPERS ON YOUR HAND OR ARM. BELIEVE ME.
PICK THAT SHELLED CUTENESS UP LIKE A HAMBURGER, ONE HAND ON EACH SIDE OF THE SHELL HALFWAY BETWEEN FRONT AND BACK LEGS, FINGERS ON THE BOTTOM SHELL, THUMBS ON THE TOP SHELL. KEEP THE TURTLE AS HORIZONTAL AS YOU CAN AS YOU CARRY IT TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.
DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT BRING THE TURTLE TO A “SAFE HABITAT.” DISPLACING ANY SPECIES OF WILDLIFE LOWERS THEIR CHANCE OF SURVIVAL DUE TO NOT KNOWING WHERE THE FUCK THEY ARE. MAKE SURE THE TURTLE IS SOMEWHERE AROUND TEN PACES AWAY FROM ANY KIND OF HUMAN CONTRAPTION, INCLUDING HOUSES AND SIDEWALKS, AND THEN LEAVE HIM TO HIS DEVICES. THEY’RE NOT STUPID, THEY’RE NOT GONNA TURN AROUND AND WALK RIGHT BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM.
THINGS TO REMEMBER:
-DON’T PICK UP BY THE TAIL. IT CAN BREAK THE SPINE.
-DON’T MOVE TO ANOTHER HABITAT.
-DON’T TAKE ‘EM HOME. THAT’S ACTUALLY ILLEGAL IN MOST STATES.
-DON’T PUT YOUR HANDS ANYWHERE NEAR THE MOUTH.
-BE WARY OF THEIR FEET, THEIR CLAWS CAN BE SHARP.
-WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER, REPTILES CAN CARRY SALMONELLA AND WHILE IT’S PRETTY MUCH IMPOSSIBLE TO CONTRACT IT UNLESS YOU SUCK ON THEIR CLOACA IT’S BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.
-DON’T MOVE THE TURTLE TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD THEY JUST CAME FROM. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT. THEY WANT TO GO THE WAY THEY WERE GOING, GENIUS.
-IF THE TURTLE IS ON A HIGHWAY, IT’S PROBABLY BEST TO PICK THEM UP- AS DESCRIBED ABOVE- AND PUT THEM IN A BOX FOR TRANSPORT SINCE THEY’RE SQUIRMY LITTLE BITCHES.
-SNAPPERS ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT AS OTHER TURTLES, DON’T IGNORE THEM BECAUSE THEY LOOK LIKE DEMON CHILD OF A T-REX AND BOX TURTLE. NO MATTER HOW BUSY THE ROAD IS, THOUGH, THE RULE OF THUMB IS DON’T PICK THEM UP IF THEY’RE BIGGER THAN YOUR HEAD. STOP TRAFFIC AND NUDGE THEM ALONG. PEOPLE MAY BE PISSED AT YOU, BUT AT LEAST YOU’LL KEEP YOUR FINGERS.
WIELD YOUR NEW FOUND KNOWLEDGE FREQUENTLY, MY FELLOW TURTLE SAVIORS.

it is important that you read this shining example of wildlife safety literature all the way through to fully appreciate its radiance and learn the ways of turtle protection.

ninjanaomi:

castiel-on-top-of-the-tree:

rhamphotheca:

Help Our Turtle Friends!!!

NO NO NO NO

WRONG

SO VERY WRONG

LISTEN ALL MY FELLOW FRIENDS: I’VE VOLUNTEERED AT THE NEW ENGLAND WILDLIFE CENTER, A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD TRAVEL TO INTERN AT, FOR MORE THAN YEAR AND THIS IS SO VERY WRONG

IN CASE YA’LL DIDN’T KNOW, TURTLE ARE CONNECTED TO THEIR SHELLS, AND PICKING THEM UP LIKE IS SHOWN IN THE PICTURE CAN SEVERELY DAMAGE THEIR SPINE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU JERK THEM AROUND

SO LET ME TELL YOU A THING

IF YOU SEE A TURTLE IN THE ROAD, STOP YOUR CAR FAR ENOUGH AWAY THAT THE TURTLE CAN STILL BE SEEN THROUGH YOUR WINDSHIELD.

IF YOU’RE ON A NON-BUSY ROAD AND/OR THE TURTLE ISN’T FLIPPED ON IT’S SHELL (WHICH BY THE WAY WHAT THE FUCK TURTLE DON’T ACTUALLY FALL ON THEIR BACKS LIKE THAT PRETTY MUCH EVER ESPECIALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THAT PICTURE) GET A STICK OR JUST USE YOUR FOOT TO GENTLY NUDGE THE TURTLE’S REAR IN THE DIRECTION IT’S GOING IN. THOSE FUCKERS ARE FAST WHEN THEY WANT TO BE.

IF PICKING UP THE TURTLE IS NECESSARY, APPROACH IT FROM THE SIDE, MAKE SURE IT SEES YOU, THEN GO AROUND THE BACK. ALL TURTLES HAVE JAWS LIKE THE VIRGIN ASSHOLE OF SATAN, EVEN IF IT’S NOT A SNAPPER, AND YOU DO NOT WANT THOSE CLAMPERS ON YOUR HAND OR ARM. BELIEVE ME.

PICK THAT SHELLED CUTENESS UP LIKE A HAMBURGER, ONE HAND ON EACH SIDE OF THE SHELL HALFWAY BETWEEN FRONT AND BACK LEGS, FINGERS ON THE BOTTOM SHELL, THUMBS ON THE TOP SHELL. KEEP THE TURTLE AS HORIZONTAL AS YOU CAN AS YOU CARRY IT TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.

DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT BRING THE TURTLE TO A “SAFE HABITAT.” DISPLACING ANY SPECIES OF WILDLIFE LOWERS THEIR CHANCE OF SURVIVAL DUE TO NOT KNOWING WHERE THE FUCK THEY ARE. MAKE SURE THE TURTLE IS SOMEWHERE AROUND TEN PACES AWAY FROM ANY KIND OF HUMAN CONTRAPTION, INCLUDING HOUSES AND SIDEWALKS, AND THEN LEAVE HIM TO HIS DEVICES. THEY’RE NOT STUPID, THEY’RE NOT GONNA TURN AROUND AND WALK RIGHT BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM.

THINGS TO REMEMBER:

-DON’T PICK UP BY THE TAIL. IT CAN BREAK THE SPINE.

-DON’T MOVE TO ANOTHER HABITAT.

-DON’T TAKE ‘EM HOME. THAT’S ACTUALLY ILLEGAL IN MOST STATES.

-DON’T PUT YOUR HANDS ANYWHERE NEAR THE MOUTH.

-BE WARY OF THEIR FEET, THEIR CLAWS CAN BE SHARP.

-WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER, REPTILES CAN CARRY SALMONELLA AND WHILE IT’S PRETTY MUCH IMPOSSIBLE TO CONTRACT IT UNLESS YOU SUCK ON THEIR CLOACA IT’S BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.

-DON’T MOVE THE TURTLE TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD THEY JUST CAME FROM. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT. THEY WANT TO GO THE WAY THEY WERE GOING, GENIUS.

-IF THE TURTLE IS ON A HIGHWAY, IT’S PROBABLY BEST TO PICK THEM UP- AS DESCRIBED ABOVE- AND PUT THEM IN A BOX FOR TRANSPORT SINCE THEY’RE SQUIRMY LITTLE BITCHES.

-SNAPPERS ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT AS OTHER TURTLES, DON’T IGNORE THEM BECAUSE THEY LOOK LIKE DEMON CHILD OF A T-REX AND BOX TURTLE. NO MATTER HOW BUSY THE ROAD IS, THOUGH, THE RULE OF THUMB IS DON’T PICK THEM UP IF THEY’RE BIGGER THAN YOUR HEAD. STOP TRAFFIC AND NUDGE THEM ALONG. PEOPLE MAY BE PISSED AT YOU, BUT AT LEAST YOU’LL KEEP YOUR FINGERS.

WIELD YOUR NEW FOUND KNOWLEDGE FREQUENTLY, MY FELLOW TURTLE SAVIORS.

it is important that you read this shining example of wildlife safety literature all the way through to fully appreciate its radiance and learn the ways of turtle protection.

ultrafacts:

Source If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts

ultrafacts:

Source If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts

runningbox11:

world-shaker:

[leaves this here and backs away]


And because our system teaches us that maintaining a 4.0 is more important than having good morals or ethics

runningbox11:

world-shaker:

[leaves this here and backs away]

And because our system teaches us that maintaining a 4.0 is more important than having good morals or ethics

quincy360:

you know that unexplainable sickish feeling where youre not really sick and you dont really have a headache but you just feel wrong and you cant get comfortable or find something that youre really into but you kinda feel too ill to sleep or eat its like your body saying “i dont know what i want you to do but this isnt it”

troyeboyxtilly:

youtubers-ugh:

halloween is soon 
its transparent

Drag it nowOr on mobile tap it

troyeboyxtilly:

youtubers-ugh:

halloween is soon 

its transparent

Drag it now
Or on mobile tap it

assgod:


bukakkedad:

katwaterflame:

josiephone:

Apparently some vegans are telling people not to eat honey to support bees.STOP. STOP NOW.DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW BEES WORK?Buy honey (local if possible) -> support beekeepers -> support bees.I swear people don’t even think this stuff out. Beekeepers provide bees with an environment in which they can live, and are encouraged to thrive. Bees then have a big huge giant person who can deal with any threats to the hive. Yes, honey is a winter food supply for bees, but beekeepers (unless they’re dicks, in which case they’d be shooting themselves in the foot) will NEVER take too much honey from a hive, and will always ensure that bees have enough food. Think about it, you’re not going to starve a source of income/hobby, are you?So now.Support beekeepers.Support bees.buzz.

I had to reblog just for “DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW BEES WORK?" because it made me realize that some people really don’t!

save them

SAVE THEM!!

assgod:

bukakkedad:

katwaterflame:

josiephone:

Apparently some vegans are telling people not to eat honey to support bees.

STOP. STOP NOW.
DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW BEES WORK?

Buy honey (local if possible) -> support beekeepers -> support bees.

I swear people don’t even think this stuff out. 
Beekeepers provide bees with an environment in which they can live, and are encouraged to thrive. Bees then have a big huge giant person who can deal with any threats to the hive. 
Yes, honey is a winter food supply for bees, but beekeepers (unless they’re dicks, in which case they’d be shooting themselves in the foot) will NEVER take too much honey from a hive, and will always ensure that bees have enough food. Think about it, you’re not going to starve a source of income/hobby, are you?

So now.
Support beekeepers.
Support bees.

buzz.

I had to reblog just for “DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW BEES WORK?" because it made me realize that some people really don’t!

save them

SAVE THEM!!

slugbooks:

Social experiment: who wants a free t-shirt?

slugbooks:

Social experiment: who wants a free t-shirt?